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Holly's story

Lucas, Born July 14th

I was hopeful that Baby Hoffmann was on the way as I enjoyed a beautiful long walk through town with friends Chara and Deborah on Monday evening, July 13. By midnight, I was sure that Baby and my body were moving in earnest into labor. Our sweet dog Leo followed my every step and stared at me as I flurried around with laundry and kitchen tasks, until Rich woke up. We laughed and kissed and listened to good old Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan together, letting our love and excitement build labor’s progress.

Our warm midwife Karen awoke to our calls at 2 and 2:30, and she sent her lovely apprentice Laura ahead to check on us. Once I knew she was on the way, everything intensified and Rich started to fill the birth tub in our bedroom.

Suddenly, I felt afraid of the intensity of the contractions and I called my dear sister Barby to calm me. She came right over at 3:30 am and gracefully encouraged me, then left us alone to dance through the strong and regular contractions. Barby spent snuggly, easy time with Casper, who had woken several times already-- knowing the Baby was on the way.

I felt so emotional seeing Laura’s kind face, and watching her observe me and begin to set up her things. At 4 AM I was only 2 cm dilated, and Laura considered driving home to Delaware until things picked-up. Rich and I both knew that everything was moving faster than it seemed, and we asked Laura if she would rest in our basement instead of leaving. Her trust in us, and positive attitude about hanging in there, really allowed me to open up and progress quickly.

The next few hours were a blur of managing strong and painful sensations, and attempting to rest or get comfortable in the moments between. I leaned on the birth ball, pulled and rocked on strong Richard, and focused on opening and welcoming the contractions as best I could. I was vocalizing loudly with every contraction now, and somehow sweet Sylvie stayed sleeping in her bed just across the hall.

By 6 AM I got into the warm tub, and the water really helped me allow my body to use each contraction to open, rather than squirming away from the pain of it. I was in a totally altered state, exhausted and hot and slightly delirious. Laura brought me cool cloths for my forehead and soothed me with her soft voice. Around 7:20 Laura encouraged me to use the bathroom. In the shock of dry land I nearly tore Rich’s shirt. I looked out the bathroom window to the full light of morning in the trees and thought, “I can’t do this anymore! It’s already tomorrow and I haven’t slept or had the baby. I want to meet my baby!!” I felt desperate and sick, and in the next wave my water burst all over Rich’s feet and the floor ; )

I hardly let Laura check me back in the bedroom, and shushed her as she tried to tell me how far along I was. I thought, “I can’t bear to hear anything!”, but what she did say was welcome to my ears: “Holly, if you’d like to have your baby in the water then you better get in the tub as soon as you can.”

Laura texted Karen to come immediately. I’m somehow in the tub, writhing and singing/moaning to the baby loud enough to wake anyone still sleeping on the street. I’m clutching at everything and anyone and hear Rich saying, “Um... she’s pushing. Is Karen on her way?” Laura says, “She is; we’ll see who gets here first...”

My eyes meet Rich’s bright and loving ocean/sky blue eyes and I literally tap into his strength and powerful belief in me and our love. He’s crying and smiling at me and then I know I can do this! I start pushing effectively. I see sleepy Sylvie in the hallway and Laura lovingly invites her in. Instead, she finds Barby and Casper downstairs and giggles and reads with them. They don’t yet realize that they are hearing their brother being born.

Because I am clutching Laura, she directs Rich to get in the water with me and help catch the baby. I can feel the head! And then, in a long glorious moment of rest, Laura coaches me beautifully through taking my time birthing the rest of our Baby’s body. Rich and I ease him, (“It’s a boy!!”, Rich tearfully announces) out of the water and onto my chest.

He’s so peaceful, so healthy and comfortable in this world already. Barby, Casper and Sylvie come right in, all of them awash in warm glow and joyful surprise. Karen arrives soon after, and helps with the final stages of labor.

I am so utterly grateful. My voice is trembling and high and I am amazed at how much I love everyone in the room. Baby nurses and I take in everyone’s support. We don’t have a name for Babe yet, we were fairly sure he was a girl ; ) By Wednesday it comes to us... this peaceful, Light-filled Buddha here with us is Lucas Everill Hoffmann. We are in bliss!"

- Holly